Grief

Whether or not you specialize in grief, clients facing loss are bound to make their way to your couch. The following books were recommended by therapists who are experienced in walking with clients as they cope with grief.

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Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief by Tom Zusa

The death of someone we love cracks us open inviting us to become the person we were born to be. This is the book Tom Zuba wishes he had read after his daughter Erin died. And after his wife Trici died. It’s the book he wishes he’d been handed following his son Rory’s death. But Tom had to live it. First. Before he could write it. For you. In the beginning, Tom did grief the old way. Repressing, denying, pretending, numbing and stuffing every feeling and every emotion that arose. He created pain on top of pain until he began searching for a new way. A new way to do grief. Once he gave himself permission to mourn, healing began. Along the way, Tom discovered that: * Grief is not the enemy. Grief can be one of our greatest teachers. * It’s the stories we tell that determine whether or not we will heal. * We will always have a relationship with the people we love that have died. * We were not born to suffer. We were born to be radiant. There is a new way to do grief. Let Tom Zuba teach you how.

Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy Hardcover by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles, allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. “I want Dave,” she cried. Her friend replied, “Option A is not available,” and then promised to help her make the most of Option B.
We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it.

It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine

“It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a permission slip to feel what you feel, do what you do, and say what you say, when life finds you in a place of profound loss and the world seems hell-bent on telling you the right way to get back to being the person you’ll never again be.”

Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, Fourth Edition: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner by J. William Worden PhD ABPP

Dr. Worden presents the highly anticipated fourth edition to Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, the gold standard of grief therapy handbooks. The previous editions, translated into 12 languages, received worldwide acclaim for their sensitive, insightful, and practical approach to grief counseling. In this updated and revised fourth edition, Dr. Worden presents his most recent thinking on bereavement drawn from extensive research, clinical work, and the best of the new literature.

Techniques of Grief Therapy: Creative Practices for Counseling the Bereaved (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement) edited by Robert A. Neimeyer

Techniques of Grief Therapy is an indispensable guidebook to the most inventive and inspirational interventions in grief and bereavement counseling and therapy. Individually, each technique emphasizes creativity and practicality. As a whole, they capture the richness of practices in the field and the innovative approaches that clinicians in diverse settings have developed, in some cases over decades, to effectively address the needs of the bereaved. New professionals and seasoned clinicians will find dozens of ideas that are ready to implement and are packed with useful features.

The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss by George A. Bonanno

The conventional view of grieving–encapsulated by the famous five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance–is defined by a mourning process that we can only hope to accept and endure. In The Other Side of Sadness, psychologist and emotions expert George Bonanno argues otherwise. Mourning is far from predictable, and all of us share a surprising ability to be resilient. Our inborn emotions–anger and denial, but also relief and joy–help us deal effectively with loss. To expect or require only grief-stricken behavior from the bereaved does them harm. In fact, grieving goes beyond mere sadness, and it can actually deepen interpersonal connections and even lead to a new sense of meaning in life.

The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents by Alexander Levy

Losing our parents when we ourselves are adults is in the natural order of things, a rite of passage into true adulthood. But whether we lose them suddenly or after a prolonged illness, and whether we were close to or estranged from them, this passage proves inevitably more difficult than we thought it would be. A much-needed and knowledgeable discussion of this adult phenomenon, The Orphaned Adult validates the wide array of disorienting emotions that can accompany the death of our parents by sharing both the author’s heart-felt experience of loss and the moving stories of countless adults who have shared their losses with him. From the recognition of our own mortality and sudden child-like sorrow to a sometimes-subtle change in identity or shift of roles in the surviving family, The Orphaned Adult guides readers through the storm of change this passage brings and anchors them with its compassionate and reassuring wisdom.

Grief Is a Journey: Finding Your Path Through Loss by Dr. Kenneth J. Doka

There is no “one-size-fits-all” way to cope with loss. The vital bonds that we form with those we love in life continue long after death—in very different ways. Grief Is a Journey is the first book to overturn prevailing, often judgmental, ideas about grief and replace them with a hopeful, inclusive, personalized, and research-backed approach. New science and studies behind Dr. Doka’s teaching upend the dominant but incorrect view that grief proceeds by stages.

If you know of another book that belongs on this list let us know here or tell us about it in the comments. Make sure you’re also following The Therapist’s Bookshelf on Facebook and Instagram.

Many therapists enjoy recommending books to their clients to supplement the work they are doing together. We also use books to help ourselves grow as people and practitioners. Remember though that books are never a replacement for real human connection or for therapy when it’s needed. If you find yourself needing a therapist, a great place to start is Psychology Today. If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

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